The ethics of a married couple call for harmony like zither and lute and for sharing hardship. They are seen as the root of ordering the household: in one boat through wind and rain, husband and wife hold each other up and make a family.
In the song "Beat the Drum" of the Book of Songs, a soldier going to war thinks of the vow "holding your hand, to grow old with you", and later ages often use the line to describe a couple who stay together.
The Zhuangzi, in its chapter on the great teacher, uses fish stranded in a dried-up rut "moistening each other with spittle" as a figure for helping one another in hardship.
The Rites of Marriage for Scholars in the Etiquette and Ceremonial and the Meaning of Marriage in the Book of Rites, both fixed in the Western Han, set down the system of the six marriage rites.
Marriage is the class in the chapter on Values on husband and wife standing together: the ethic of a couple in harmony who share hardship, seen as the root of ordering the household. A vow in the Book of Songs, the phrase "moistening each other with spittle" in the Zhuangzi and the six rites of marriage in the ritual books are three points of support along the way.
